My eyes feel like sandpaper and my body is tired of being awake, but I can't help it.  It's summer and I just clicked submit on my application.  It took me a week to click submit.

I have problems.

Morganna has been with me all week.  She's been a lifesaver.  I wasn't sure I was going to make it through last Wednesday, but she came in and barreled through my room while I moped around.  She tossed things that needed tossing and swept clean every trace of my last two years.

After, we went out and I ended the day smiling.

Last night we stayed with my closest friend's son while she had an operation that had us all a little scared.  And she powered through for me again.  She asked him all of the right questions and got the board games down and listened to his chatter while we watched a Jackie Chan movie. 

We weren't meant to live alone.

And it has been so nice to rest.  To take a step back and let someone else step forward in my place.

We bought the biggest wedding magazine we could find because she is getting married soon and we went to the wine bar while we picked out favorite things and wondered about the sudden trend in ridiculous cake toppers.  She told me that I need to find someone quick so that we can have a double wedding and I laughed with her.

Tomorrow she is making me try hot yoga which sounds like death and pain to me.  She doesn't know it, but I am going to talk her into a hike because it is far less humiliating.  And for pete's sake.  I just clicked submit.  I think being in a steamy room while balancing with my rear in the air would send me over the edge that I've been camping on.

Next week I have two goals.  I would like to learn to fish and I would like to go for a long ride.  My father is coming out soon and I'm tired of getting my you know what kicked.

I don't know that there's any point to this post at all.  I just needed to put myself down.

Tonight I really miss home.  And tonight I am terrified of leaving.

Submit.  Shoooooot.