I transcribed a recording of religious academic discourse in which I paid special attention to the use of rhetorical questions and now all I notice are rhetorical questions flying around everywhere.  Goffman calls them a part of fresh talk, but I think they're the lazy man's words.  Or the self indulged.  Either way, they won't slip by anymore and I miss their slipperiness.  A little.

I did not get to bed Monday, I had so much coffee that I considered asking Google about the consequences of overdosing, but then I decided I did not have time for consequences and papered through the night and into morning.

Basically, I've been in an overbearing relationship with school and now that there is one week left, I am ecstatic about the freedom I have been missing.  I've had to answer to my syllabi and my professors and my piles of library books and articles and study groups and I am beyond tired of answering.  I'd like to start asking the questions now, thank you.

And I'd like to decide how my night is going to go and to drink a cup of coffee just for fun.  Actually, I may never have another cup, that's how my insides are feeling about it.  Through it all, I have learned one unsettling thing.  I do not do well in my heart towards things that demand consistent attention and time and sacrifice.

Shoot Tasha.  So much for my relationship with LIFE.  I'm working on it.  I'm working on a lot of things, but the problem is I keep finding more.  And that's when I have to take a day and throw myself at Him.  It's too easy for me to act like a giant rhetorical question, a statement disguised as a question that isn't looking for an answer or any interaction at all, none.

Tomorrow I have my last conference presentation.  I was going to wear something nice and black and maybe spice it up with colored heels, but that is out.  I haven't fit into this graduate school mold very well and I am tired of trying, tired of using slow, long words and firm decisive tones when really, I am indecisive most of the time and I like to talk fast.  Real fast.

Tomorrow I am going to wear something flowy and showy and bright.  I will share on Freire and Critical Pedagogy and its discourse full of salvation, and I will do it with a smile on my face?  In school?  Oh I will.  This straight-faced, tight-lipped, tongue-tying way of things is out.  And, loose is in.