I have not written in ages.  Just yesterday I pulled out my journal and I could only think to copy the Psalms because it is quiet dust in my mind right now.

Dust is no excuse and so I will try.

I am tied to a God who loves me faithfully and it is killing my complacent heart.  I am living out a great love with a man who pushes slowly and woos steady.  I am working, worrying, breaking, hardening with the children.  It is the hardening that I am afraid of.

I am on the phone with my father hearing broken, cracking words I don't know how to pray about it anymore.  I am talking with my brother who is sitting in the driveway watching the dim of the upstairs T.V. from the truck and we are slowly losing heroes.

And the dust quivers.  The quiet stutters.

I am up early because we were promised sun today and my soul is desperate for the window and coffee and the soft prayers of morning.  But last night.  Last night I was up late moving over my people with Him, petitioning, pleading, claiming.

Last night we were so
booming
loud.