I have been on my knees lately fighting for my family, turning each person over and over in prayer, going through His promises, His covenants, reminding Him and myself that He is working this broken ugly into good and glory.  I have been as high as I can be on the tips of my feet lately for my family, purchasing last minute tickets, talking trash about the big ride through mountains, telling husband how much fun we will all have when we are finally in a house together again and how brother will probably say something at some point to make sister mad and she'll fire it right back at him and that that's what I really love right there.

I have been far from home a year again and this month the distance sunk heavy and there have been days that ache for arms and smiles and being in the yard with my mother while she digs in the dirt and talks to me from her flowers.  I have been thinking about what they built when they married young and moved to the middle and started poor and new and grew their babies in community and potlucks and picnics.  How we all played together- all of us and how our parents played, hard in front of us.  I have been thinking about the first sit-down conversation, about the tan couch with navy and the pillow hugged tight while they pulled us, guided us, broke us with sad and heavy words and the many more that followed while we grew and grew and handled life, all of us.  Remembering the sounds in morning.  Dad in the chair that all of us kids are fighting for now because it is vintage and it is chic, dad rocking and creaking and turning the pages of The Word every morning while we slept and mom still in their bed, propped up with her colored pens-- one for each of us, claiming ancient truths and passages and marking them as ours.

I have been on my knees praying over the greatness He gave us, praying protection and strength and I have been fierce for this family because sometimes He takes-- we know this.  I have been wishing for the old tan and navy couch, wishing for their faces and I have been keeping this promise close: Where two or three are gathered, there I am and I have been so full remembering the way He is.