Sometimes my heart feels like it is about to break open.

He loves me.

This holy, righteous, good Being chose to love me and it makes no sense, none.  And I can sit here, staring out the window, and I can talk with Him.  I can read Him.  I can ask Him for great things.  And I can start this day knowing that He will be saving me throughout it, I can start this day with such confidence.

Husband and I are praying over spaces now.  We are having conversations about what it would be to own land and home and what would humility look like, now?  I have this nasty, nasty pride.  I've always had it and I will always battle it.  But He took me to other places and I've seen dirt poor spaces and so who am I to count bedrooms and bathrooms and square feet? 

We had been looking for something tiny, something very small and cozy and charming.  We had already decided on space.  But then we started talking space out: we could host small groups and we could have whole families over-- children too.  That upstairs would be perfect for missionaries or your family or someone who really needs a break for a couple months.  And the yard parties we could throw.  The connecting that could happen, the fellowship.

Maybe space doesn't have to be excessive.  Maybe space can be love.

We have always said that this would be the thing, this house hunting, that would stretch our marriage most because we have such different tastes and ideas.  Children, money, jobs, those we can handle.  But the house decisions-- they're going to be a beast.

I hadn't counted on the growing.  I hadn't counted on the praying together, the new dreams voiced out loud, the way his protective drive would make me feel so loved.  I had not thought through this:  when you're buying a house, you're joining a community and so He gives you another piece of the world to love.  All of a sudden, the ball park across the street filled with children and the shelter down the road and the teens that work at the burger place one block up-- they're all His and maybe, if we're lucky, we'll not only find a home, we'll find another part of this small, small town to work His love on.