Wednesday and Thursday switched it up on me this week.  Yesterday was a dream.  Today was a struggle.  Right now I'm hiding from the kitchen and the box of rice krispies that exploded in my rushed effort to make treats for Good News Club.  Rushed because of the meeting about a sweet monster student that ran late, the gym date that went a little long, the extra time spent in the shower because it is safe and quiet and good smelling in there.

On the way home I couldn't get the idea of spending out of my head.  The things I spend: time, emotion, heart, energy, money, patience.  The way I spend: frivolously, flippantly, freely, resentfully, happily, tiredly.  My gym friend told me she misses me and I nodded my head.  I'm spending thin these days.  I'm spreading in too many places.  I don't know how to narrow some things down, though.  How do you narrow people?  How do you narrow relationship?  And how do you spend where He wants you spending and withhold where He wants you withholding?  What does that look like, really.

I have sixteen minutes before I have to climb in the car and head back to the school for club.  From there to small group.  From small group, home.  And then it is Friday and there are weekend things to do, weekend relationships to maintain until Monday hits and we do it all over again.

I'm thinking Jesus would tell me to climb in the boat and leave the crowds behind.  I'm thinking He might talk about the value of going off in the wilderness alone.  He would probably remind me, too, that He kept His people tight and close and small: 12 out of thousands.  And what I'm dying to ask Him right now is this: Yes, but how?