Boxes and boxes.

There are a few things in life that I absolutely love. Like clean hair and boots and a really great book. And then there are things that I love so much I'm completely and totally wordless.

I love... being loved. I know my dark spots. And when love pulls through in spite of them, I think it must be a glimpse of heaven.

Let me tell you. I had the best weekend. It began with no power and damp laundry. But after candlelit packing and a hairy experience with the garage door, I was on my way. Home. Praise the Lord for home.

I didn't sleep. I had those really great talks that only happen late at night. I ate my favorite foods and dressed up and laughed and soaked in the love. I held friends' babies and hit happy hours and played in the snow.

He has given me some great people. And I love loving them. I love who I am around them. And I love the promise of new friends in new places. Knowing the whole time that home is always there, ready for me when I need it most.

I think the best part was being listened to. And answering hard questions. Being busted out by people who know me too well. And those not so gentle reminders that only good friends can give you- reminders of who you are. We all need a kick.

So now I'm back to my life in the North. Armed with new books and travel plans and goals. Ready to embrace the quiet and simple. Here's what I'm struggling with: finding the balance between who I was and who I am. When I was home I realized how little I talk about Him here. I miss it. I think it would be easy to blame Sandpoint for limiting me. Because it seems so hard to be here at times. But that wouldn't be honest.

When I look back on myself, I see Him all over. When I was young and so sure of Him. And then those high school years that I really searched through. The safety of my college years. The dessert and dry wandering. And then I get to here. Here where I'm not sure where I fit. Here where little eyes watch everything I do. And where I have a different name. He is growing me here. I'm learning to really love people. And to hear them when they talk. To get excited about the little things. Oh, I am learning so much. It might not be in the box, but it is happening.And I love what I am learning. I love life outside of the box.

Sometimes you forget what fresh air feels like. And then when you're reminded, when a breeze nearly knocks you off your feet, you're completely. And totally. Wordless.