Later Gater

Confession. Every mixing bowl is dirty. Flour is everywhere. I just polished off a milkshake. And. I've been watching the Hallmark channel for three hours. Danger, danger.

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiife? Is so confusing. On one hand, I am completely happy. I love my cute little kitchen. And my even cuter kids. I have a tiny gym and a favorite spot in the library and neighbors that wave.

On the other hand, I'm missing something. I miss the look. The one that says, "Hey you, I think you're pretty great." And I'm a little tired. Of dreaming on my own. Actually, I'm running out of dreams with just me in them. And that is frightening.

So God. What do you think? I'll tell you what I think. I think that there are better things in life to cry about. Better things to long for. And to eat cookies over. But. That's not what I feel. And feelings seem very important tonight.

I think I will paint my toes. That outrageous red color that I haven't opened yet. Turn the heat up, up, up. And sleep on the couch with that really heavy, old quilt.

Because even though I know that I'm going to be fine. It's ok to be a little sad. Maybe it's good even. It means that I am normal. Doesn't it?

If I could go anywhere right now, I would go home. And I would watch a movie with my dad. My dog would go crazy. I would get up early and talk with my mom while she puts on her makeup. And then I would have a melt in your mouth doughnut hole from Olsens Bakery. They are to die for.

So nail polish, you have big shoes to fill. I'm counting on you, Calendar Girl Red. Oh God, maybe You could send some dreams my way. I can tell you're about to do something. My world has been still for too long. So, shake away. I'm ready. And Andrea from Teachoverseas? Next time you call, I might actually pick up. Yes, I might.