1.2.3.

Here's the problem.  The biggest one is that I got up early this morning.  My flight left at 9:35 but my grandpa reminded me that Phoenix is not Omaha and that they get an average of 70,000 people through a day and a half hour early is not going to cut it.  You really shouldn't do the half hour thing anywhere Tasha, really.  That on top of the new pat down procedure at security and we left the house before the sun.  Thankfully Starbucks is the first thing I saw after my patless security encounter.  And unfortunately, it is not the last Starbucks I saw.  I have been jittering and running to the nearest labratory all day.

The  second problem is this.  I recently decided to cut back on processed foods.  A wise, healthy decision.  And as a result, my kitchen is stocked with ingredients that are not microwaveable instant-gratification emotional-eating materials.  And that stinks.  My mom sent a 40 individual flavor box of jelly belly beans back with me and I have spent the last thirty minutes coming up with tasty combinations.  I watched Julie and Julia twice back to back over break and I would like to be her.  But right now I have forty flavors to play with.  I'm sure she would have done the same. 

And the third problem.  I have been gone for three weeks and now I am back.  In my cute little apartment.  In my empty apartment.  And I am in a completely anti human mood.  I frown at my phone when it rings, I hate my voicemail icon, and I am not opening the mountain of Christmas cards that got soggy in my mailbox.  I love people.  But not tonight. 

Tonight I am going to watch irresponsible amounts of What Not to Wear and Say Yes to the Dress.  And I will wear my sweatpants that I have been missing for three weeks because they weren't a priority when my suitcase wouldn't zip shut.   Then I am going to gear up for being here and work on my future even though the only things that look good right now are online grad school and working from home.

So here's to you, blog.  My dear, silent friend.  You are exactly what I'm looking for tonight.  Because I do not feel like cleaning up and putting that smile on.  I don't feel like talking to another face.  Tonight I feel very sad.  And a little scared.  But mostly sad.  And I don't know why.

I made a deal with myself.  Stay in tonight, but tomorrow.  Eat real food, drink water, go to the gym and get out.  Fine.  I'll be out of jelly beans by then anyways.  Did you know that if you combine cherry, banana, and vanilla it tastes just like a banana split but without the brain freeze?  It's marvelous.