Giddy Gideon

I have muddy pawprints all up and down my sweatshirt.  My ponytail is curled and fuzzed and my cheeks are red.  Praise the Lord for sunny mornings with blue skies and muddy, happy-to-see-you dogs.  First runs are brutal.  Brutal but also a relief to know that you didn't lose everything to the winter. 

It was one of those mornings that makes your eyes run with tears.  And then pretty soon you aren't sure if the water streaming down your face is from the stinging cold or the gravity of your thoughts.  I'm afraid that if I had been like a Bible character it would have been Gideon.  The vibe man.  Just give me a sign God.  Ok, give me another.  Because I'm not sure if I read the first one right.  I'm just awful with them.

I've been that way since I was small. I was better at reading books than people.  I still am.  People catch me off guard.  They're fascinating that way.

So as my lungs and muscles were straining, my Spirit was reaching too.  Ok God.  What do you want me to do this year?  What are you going to ask of me?  Who is it that I need to see and hear and love?  And please help me.  Lately I've been so tired, and it started last night again.  I could feel myself begin to shut down. 

But here's this beautiful morning and here You are.

I have this tendency to push myself hard when I'm not where I think I should be.  That's the brutal part of the first run coming out.  And then I reach the point where I realize Tasha, you can't go any further at this pace.  You have to slow down, girl.  You have to breathe evenly and wipe your eyes.

That's when it dawned on me.  That these moments weren't about the run, they weren't about me at all.  This time was about the morning.  The birds singing again and the sun shining and the horses running in the field.

I didn't notice the morning until I walked.  It is good to get away and hole up with life.  He gives me so much that I pass over.

And so today is going to be a Genesis day.  I'm going back to the beginning of it all, I'm going back to the good.