I just spent money on a dress that I might never wear. That's what I thought when I took it off the hangar. But it was so pretty on and so perfectly spinnable that I couldn't give it up. I will wear it somewhere, I will.
It's the kind of dress that you dream with.
Every girl should have one of those.
Every time I go home, it's inevitable. I get asked The Question. And I shrug my shoulders and give the same answer. Nope, not yet.
Why?
Usually I make up some nice, tidy answer. I guess it's just not the right timing. Or, Maybe I'm not ready yet. I really don't mind being alone.
Since I'm being honest, I'm going to let it out. I'm not sure it has anything to do with timing. And I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Some nights I hate being alone so much that it hurts.
Maybe He does have something to teach me still. Maybe I am not as ready as I think I am.
But really, it comes down to this. I am simply unimpressed.
That sounds cold. It is a little. But I am bored with the same polite conversations and cute texts and chats over and over. Honestly, I am done with words. And I desperately love them.
I am waiting for an action.
Because the problem is I know myself. And I have some pretty big flaws. I am stubborn. And quick to judge. I made a list of my faults and I stopped when I reached the fifties.
And so whoever he is, he is going to have to be strong. Able to move me.
I'm going through Joshua with my kids. We're learning about this warrior of a man who led a foolish people into the promised land. I looked at my boys and told them- this is one of the greats. This is what it's like to be a man who follows Jesus.
It is hard for me to read Joshua and to not feel a little dissatisfied. It makes me pray harder for men everywhere. It has to be hard today, hard to be strong and courageous. Hard to follow God and to not be afraid.
But please. Please do. Because we need you, we're waiting for you, and we're cheering for you.
Plus, I have this really great dress now. And it swishes when I move. You're going to love it.
I love this. This is pretty dang close to where I am at and my thoughts too! One day girl! I am waiting for my gentle giant who loves the Lord...one day I pray. Until then the Lord has alot to do in and through as as singles, like he did with Paul, that doesn't happen the same as when you are in a relationship. I love to think of how the Lord is using me and how unique it is for this particular and special season in my life yet that also changes as I grow and change =)
ReplyDeleteWow. Just stumbled upon your blog and am glad I did. Very well said!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day :)
Denalee
You don't know me, Tasha, but I love reading your blog. You are so real, and so gifted! I heard you give your "after Mali" testimony in Omaha at the FEBC convention, July, 2008, talked to your dad later and he gave me the link to your blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd that special man God's preparing for you will walk into your life just the right time and the right day. And I bet he'll love your swishy dress! :-)
Aggie
I think he shall resemble a certain Tony Stark. Yep! He'll be that fantastic...and have a twin brother. Perrrrfect!
ReplyDeleteAgnes, thank you so much for your comment. It was a great encouragement :)
ReplyDeleteHey, I just read this and copied it:
ReplyDeleteHere is some advice from a friend for those ladies seeking a mate 1. It is important to find a man that helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important to find a man that makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You. 4. It is important to find a man who loves you and spoils you. 5. It is VERY important that these four men don't know each other.
:-)