Some of my friends got unhappy news today.  I told them to come on over, we can be weepy together.

One brought a cake.

They all brought their swim suits.

And we went out on the water and flew around on jet skis and had a water fight with children.

It was nice to act like the world was no big deal for an afternoon.  I probably should have finished packing.  And cleaning.  And organizing. 

But sometimes the right thing to do is not the smartest thing. 

Now I'm sitting on the floor, reading the backs of books.  I need a healing night tonight.  Life has been hard for me and it's time to stop ignoring it.  I hate the edge of goodbyes.  That this could be the last time feeling.

My way of dealing with the bad?

A drive to no where.  A drive that lasts until I've said and screamed and laughed every thing that is fighting inside of me. 

And then a book with an ending that is sickeningly perfect. 

And chocolate.