I have been in the laziest summer mood and clearly, Tasha, clearly it is not summer and it is not the time to be lazy.  I'd rather spend extra time in the bathroom (which I've begun to call the salon), in the closet, with happy hours and desserts and friends and I am having a hard time convincing myself that studying is more important than it all. 

I have a paper to revise.  I hate revising.  Revising feels like fixing bad teeth, it hurts.  I have pages and pages to read, pages.  Papers to write for the first time, discussions to get ready for, books to review.  And instead, I spent the morning hunting for the perfect pillows.  And the afternoon writing letters.  Now it feels like I need a nap and I really should spend time around another person tonight. 

Or I could go to the library. 

I could.

I'd rather not, that's all.

My cell phone decided to quit on me last night and because I refuse to have internet or television in my apartment, I am officially unreachable, aside from my lovely doorbell.  My sister is gone for the weekend and by the time she comes back I may be having conversations with my pillows.  Or  I may be really, really happy to have a bit of a rest.

Because of that, I'm feeling chatty in a rambling way and I apologize right now for whatever may happen from here on out.  THIS is why I do not have internet, I need giant walls in my life.  I do not know what is happening to me lately, I have bigger problems than a lazy attitude.  I was walking from class to my car that was parked about a million feet away and I turned to wave at a car who honked because it's like me to be nice.  And instead, I did something else with my hand.  I know.  I was horrified.  About three hours later when I realized what I had done.

Tasha, what is your problem? 

Then, I walk up my steps to my door and I see beady baby rodent eyes peering out at me from my trashcan.  I mumble three, small, never appropriate words and open my door, stomp up the steps, stop.  Realize what sort of human I just was, put the phone down, and march back down to free the trapped thing. 

I rolled my eyes at the creepy Perkins man, sighed at the boy children who waved out their window, and threw a mini tantrum when my kids woke up from their nap early.

Life is just so rough lately.  Someone needs to put me on a slow boat to China. 

Maybe I'll spend some time in time-out tonight, think about what is going on in this bad heart of mine.

As long as it's not in the blasted library.