I enrolled in my last semester of classes today.  I talked with some classmates about a study group for comps.  I began to research my final project.  I also freaked out in the bathroom, let out a huge sigh in the middle of lecture, and got lost on the way home.  Twice.

I am almost done!  I AM ALMOST DONE!  I am scared to death.  I am wildly excited.  

I crunched the leaves through the park, under the trees, to my car and I prayed to the beat of my march, reminding Him of how badly I do with change.  Listening to Him remind me of how deeply I crave it.  And mostly resting on His great promise to be with me always, to leave me never.  To make me strong, full of courage.  Resting in the promised land, in the glory that lives inside of me beating against my doubts, setting my fears on fire, overwhelming me with love of higher things.  

He is calling me out, again.  And I am beginning to feel that urgency that always comes at the end of things, that drive to see everything, hear everything, everyone.  I firmly believe that the church around me is mending, broken but full of healing.  We are growing, shooting out of our wreckage, claiming the strength that belongs to us.  And the body has never been more beautiful.

We have God inside us and Christ before us and so we have great living to do.  And in the middle of all of my mistakes and wrong turns, there He is.  Reminding me.  Reminding, reminding, reminding.  My memory is so loud with Him.

I am at the parts of Psalms that saw me through a dark time, they are marked up with dates and lines and circles and they are baptized in my grief, but they are so full of hope.  They are speaking to me, they are shouting at me, Look.  Remember?  He brought you through this, He carried you and saved you and He was your rescue.  He can do it again, He would love to.  You have to stand.  You have to look forward, square your shoulders, and prepare because your God will take the day.  He'll take the valley, the enemies, the victory.  And He is your God, dear one.  HE is.