Today is a quiet day.

I sat this morning with a group of women who are close with words I have barely used chemo, last memories, adoption, the depression.  And my day grew a little quieter.

I drove to the gym and I exhausted myself and then I unlocked the apartment, sat in my blue chair and watched the sun because the rain is coming and then the snow and the gray.

But today is beautiful.

Husband asked how I am because there are different kinds of quiets.

I am soft trying to be hard.
I am caught up in ends.
I am so present.

And

I am gathering myself in the quiet;
I am having a great rest.