fully

I dedicated the month of June to traveling. It's when I'm away that life is the clearest. I'm reminded of how small my definition of big is. God blows me away.

We decided to cross the border, to check out Canada. Beautiful. My grandpa had given me a bunch of maps and a list of places to hike and see and stay. I wrote this after one of those days that will forever stay close to you.


I just got done hiking back behind Lake Louise and up to a little tea house tucked away at the top of a mountain. With red tables and chairs and little Snow White animals everywhere. We sat down and had a big slice of chocolate cake and a hot cup of tea. It was nearly perfect.

On the way up, I heard an avalanche on the next mountain over. In three seconds my definition of power was upset. And as I ran up the mountain to get a better view- the thought that I was running towards danger flashed through my mind. There's something attractive and magnetic about power. About danger. Something that makes you want to be a part of it and to run away from it all at the same time.

I think that's how God is. He's so attractive and alluring. But at the same time, I hesitate.

What I love about Him the most is His mystery. That I will never be able to figure Him out. That He'll always be ahead and beyond my thoughts, that there will always be more of Him.

Sometimes I bore easily of life. Of people and where I am and what I am doing. But with Him, my mind can go forever and not be any closer.

I love that He shares life with me. That I can scream and laugh and cry and whisper. That I don't have to use words. That I can be on my knees or in my car or in my head. That other people know Him. I love that He's the same but still mysterious. That He's infinity but forever making new. I love that He wants me.



"You do not know how much they mean to me, my friends,
And how rare and strange it is to find

In a life composed so much,
So much of odds and ends,

To find a friend who has these qualities,
Who has and gives

Those qualities upon which friendship lives."

T.S. Eliot