Hurry. Why? Because.

It is morning and the screen door is open and it is heaven on my skin.  Yesterday my grandpa took me for a hike in the desert.  Today I have my jeans and tennis shoes in a pile by the front door because grandpa says that we are going to find a natural bridge and the best piece of pie in the state of Arizona.

My aunt told me yesterday that there's no hurry.  What?  No hurry?  But don't I need to find the perfect place and person and job?  Isn't that what life is all about?

Silly Tasha.  You used to revel in your imperfections.  But somehow you've joined the horde of people who trample over life in search of fulfillment.   

My aunt is wise.  I forgot how good it is to make mistakes.  I laugh a lot more when I'm messing up.

I got all wrapped up in finding my passion.  My ambition.  I had begun to think that something was wrong with me.  Because I do not have ten year or five year or even one year goals.  I have no clue where I want to be and what car I want to drive and how tall my husband should be.  No clue.  Honestly, I don't really care.  Not because I'm passive, but because it simply does not worry me.

And so last night while I was laying in my quiet, quiet room it hit me.  Tasha you do have passion.  You do have direction.  It's just not obvious like some people.  The ones who feel like they've run over you with a truck after they spend your lunch telling you all about what they are going to do and how.  And instead of being inspired to greatness, you leave wanting nothing at all to do with ladders and strategies.  You want a day off of work instead.  And a chocolate chip cookie.

So here is my passion.  It is being a sister.  I love being a sister.  And a daughter.  And a granddaughter.  I am passionate about my friendships.  And about my students.  I am passionate for Jesus and the cross and grace.  I am so passionate about grace.  And color and music and listening and the ocean and broken people.  I get excited about spontaneity and flowers and deviating from recipes.

And in my own little way, I suppose that I do have some goals.  I have a collection of flower seeds for my future garden.  And a name picked out for a dog.  I would like to go back to school.  And maybe write something.    And some day my dad and I will bike through Europe.  When she finally falls for good, I will be in my sister's wedding.  And hands down, I am going to be the best aunt.
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