I've been a bear all day.  I have no idea why, I just woke up growling.  I fought it the whole day and I'm still battling it tonight.

My kids seem to have forgotten what a line is and how to do long division.  They jumped down the hallway and their hands simply will not raise any longer.  I was at my wits end by 9:00 and they were just warming up.

Jesus, bless the little children.  Bless them.  And please, could you bless me too?  PLEASE.  Maybe with a little patience. 

My head felt like death by lunch and then the lunch lady gave them french toast and syrup.  Syrup?  Really?  Oh yes. 

And when we got out the water colors and markers and oversized paper this afternoon I threw my hands up in the air.  Miss B why are you giggling?  What are you laughing at?  Miss B are you ok?

Oh you lovely little darlings, you.  You've pushed me right over the edge.  Lets have some candy.  And Caleb- crank that music up. 

This is what I learned today:  I learned that my world is growing up and I can't afford to have bear days.  My kids are starting to wear deoderant and giggle about boys.  My sister is falling for a boy I don't know, falling hard.  And my brother is becoming more of a man every time I talk to him.

I have bear days when I simply can't stand it any longer.  When the world feels like it is shooting up over me and I am getting buried beneath it.  I start to ask, God where do I fit in all of this?  I worry that I'm getting left behind.  That I'm going to get lost in the shuffle and not belong anywhere.

On Sunday He reminded me.  I was singing Hosanna in church and I choked on the word.  God, I am so glad that I can sing this word.  Jesus I am so glad that you came.  I thought about all of the changing ahead of me.  Of all of the change around me.  And I smiled a little.  Because I know that I'm getting better at it, and because change means growth.

I just have one request God.  That gray hair that I found on Sunday?  Let's let that be a one time thing for a while.  Ok?  Amen.