Oh sister dear.

This is for you.

I have always tried to be as straight and strong and true as I could.  Because of you.  Because of your eyes and the watching that they do.  But sometimes I stumble.  And a lot I fall.  I tried to go out and find the answers to the questions that life demands of our hearts.  But I couldn't find them all.

And now you're there.  You don't need me to do your hair or to tell you stories or to sing silly songs to you at night.  You're past that and to tell the truth, I'm not quite ready.

I am so sorry that I don't always have the right words or timing.  And this part of life that you run towards at full speed, it's the part that I shrink away from.  You're on your way to belle of the ball and I'm getting ready to count cats and throw away the key.

You're next to me right now.  It is day, but not for you.  Because last night was sleepless and because it was a hard goodbye.  But you are resilient.  And your life has had so many hellos.  It's just hard to know which is The Hello.

So I'm going to let you know my secret.  I tried to tell it to you earlier, but it didn't come out well and I think it might be important.

There is something dangerous about being a woman.  Something that steals away bits of our resolve and blurs our character.  It happens when we reach a certain age, an age where we are vulnerable in spite of ourselves.  And no matter how strong we think we are and how sure and protected, the potential of it is there.  Always.

Be careful with love.  Be very careful.  It is a strong drink, but it is good.  As long as you are able to recognize it.  Because some things feel like love.  But they aren't true.  And that is why the secret is so important. 

How will I know it's him?  How will I know that he is the one to dream with?  Won't there always be someone better, someone stronger and fiercer? 

We spend so much of our lives in pursuit of love.  And we expect it to come from another person.  From the boy who is the right one for you out of all of the beings in the world.

Are you ready?  Here is what I learned.  That being in love is not a waiting game or a guessing game or a feelings game.  The kind of love that will get you through the thin of life is the kind that grows out of deep character.  Your character.  And that is it, that is what is so very important.  Don't look for it in the face of every hello.  Grow it.  Study it.  Observe it.  Love is the way Jesus lived.  It is compassion and wisdom and sacrifice and hope.  Love is the way Jesus died.  Spend time at His feet, spend time on His words.

And then you'll recognize it when it comes.  Because you are right.  There are many ways to make it work and many men who could stand next to you.  But there is one God.  And He is the creator of love.  And that is the secret that isn't really a secret at all.  This is not boardgame life with a spinner and plastic people.  This is divinely inspired fall down get up life with impractical grace and death as our model of love's gift.  And the one who takes you further into Christ's steps- that's the one whose hello will be bigger than goodbye.

If I could take life's hurts for you, I think I wouldn't.  But I can promise this.  I will hurt with you.  And then I will buy the icecream and rent the happy ending movie and maybe even sing you a silly song.